Crap on a Cracker! It's been a while......Lotsa stuff has happened!

Okay, so it has beean a bit since I have written, but inspired by the delightfully wonderful movie that I have just seen, Julie and Julia, and because of the confusing, weird crazy shit that has been going on, I am once again commiting to writing this thing. Also, I think I may now have internet at work which means I can do something there besides knit in my free time.
So, the wonderful son moved out of the house and in with his girlfriend about six months ago. The delightful daughter got her own place about four or five months ago. Then was promptly laid off from one job and then her other. Thank God she had some money stashed, though that is quickly running out.......ugh. Me and the Hubsand promptly took to the car for two days of couples time road trips. Very enjoyable, though we quickly found out when your children fly the coop, it is not all road trips and happy time.
Recently I have been presented with the opportunity to purchase the book store that I have set up, been managing and already, for all practical purposes except the financial ones, think of as my own. I LOVE this store. I LOVE working there. I LOVE that I can walk to work. I LOVE that I can knit at work. I LOVE my customers and I LOVE books. I love the smell of them, all the different titles and covers. I love that every single book that you pick up, good or bad, no matter what genre, has its own little world ready and waiting for you. Isn't that a beautiful thing.
So, to sum up, one could say that the book store is my passion. So how often does one get the chance to follow ones bliss? Sure, it is a little higher than I would like to pay, but I am getting great terms from a boss/friend that I really trust. Sure, I will be taking over the business in the month of January when no one is shopping for anything, especially in a tourist town. I am sure I can probably weather Jan., Feb. and March. And, should I ignore that the last two winters have not been kind to my hubsand regarding work? That he has been unemployed off and on and if I buy the store, we will be without half of my income (I will still keep my two other jobs). How about the fact the we are helping my daughter out until she gets back on her feet. Or that if I buy the store we will probably NEVER have health insurance. Or that we pretty much, in a good month with all of our income, live moment to moment. Savings? Hah! That went last year when poor hubsand was out of work.
These burning questions have kept me up at night, left me crying at odd times and nearly sent me to the phone to call and say the deal was off. Except I have not. I really want it. I know that it is not going to be a business that will make me rich, but I really want it. It is never even probably going to be enough to live comfortably off of it alone. I do not care. I want it.
Now, if you knew me at all, you would know that I am not financially reckless. Yes, if someone screams road trip, I am in the car ready to go faster than they can dig out their keys. Yes, I was engaged two weeks after meeting my husband and we were married after knowing each other for a month. Yes, I am a spur of the moment, fl by the seat of your pants kind of gal. Except when it comes to money or financial decisions. Plus, I have this great sense of reposibility and a feeling that no matter what, I must make sure that EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY. What a pain in the ass.
Now, bear with me becuase I am coming to the funny part. Not funny, haha. But funny as in, "What is someone trying to tell me!?!" So here goes. I have, as mentioned, been a little stressed about buying the business and being able to pay our household bills without my income. So, I decided to pray about it. I am not really a religious person, though I do beleive someboday smarter and wiser than I am is out there and I like to think he/she is looking out for my best interest. So I ask for some knid of sign. Is this the right thing to do? Am I putting the well-being, both financially and mentally, of my family at risk? The answer I got back? Well, this is the funny part..........
I thought I got a GO FOR IT!! I felt calm and settled in my decision. I felt excited about changes I could make to make it better for my customers, All-in-all, I felt happy and a sense of well being. I felt courageous. Like, for once in my life I should take a financial risk. I should jump and trust that if I tried really hard, everything would be okay. I was ready.
And Then......
My daughters four pound dog jumped out of the car wrong and broke her leg. Off for an emergency vet call. Bright neon pink cast and a lovely vet bill to go with it. Perhaps even orthepedic surgery in the future. I had to get a special credit card to pay for it. Started feeling like perhaps my feeling that I was getting a cosmic high five to proceed with buying the bookstore was a little off. Went back to work and started feeling palcated again. BOOM! Less than a week later, I got home from work and my 15 year old puppy had a prolapsed rectum (HORROR of HORRORS). Off for an emergency vet trip and middle of the night rectum surgery with a two night stay at the doggie hospital. Oh, yeah, they also found some kind of tumor on her stomach. Could be fatty, could be cancer. Separating out the emotional side of this (of which there is a lot since I love my dogs like my children) just what excactly is he/she trying to tell me???
I feel like someone might be playing with me and / or I am to stupid to get the message. Is it the sense of well being that is the right message or the horrid pet emergencys causing financial ruin that is the answer?
Any Ideas?
P.s. I promise it will not usually be this heavy, or lengthy. And usually will probably have more to do with happier subjects. Like knitting.
Have a great day!

Makin' an effort......

I think we are having left over rice for dinner....rice is nice. I will probably just announce that it is get it yourself night. I get to do this now that the kids are older. I did not work at all on the daughters x-mas present while she was away at work today, dang it. I could have got a lot done. It is now almost 6 pm and I have to go feed the bookstore kitties (and hopefully get some really cute pics of them), walk the dogs, and pick up the daughter. The son went to Ashland today with a friend and the ex-gf to see a play and the hubby had to unload someones rotting refridgerator. Ick. All I accomplished today was going through a really large stack of neglected mail, my daily chores, knitting on my afghan swap square and watching TIVO'ed Samantha Brown shows. I swear to god that woman has my cute wardrobe and my globe trotting life! Toodles for now!

WTF

It is, apparently, hard for me to blog. I have always said that I am an open book, and really you could ask me any question and I would tell you the truth, but to blog is something else entirely. What if my boss looks at my blog after I have, in anger, posted a crappy couple of sentences about him. I mean I have the best job ever, and I can honestly say that I love to go to work but every once in awhile you have an off day. What if he reads it and gets pissed off? How bout the hubby, friends, kids? For god sake, what if my geriatric, self absorbed dog learned to man the keyboard? I could potentially be in a lot of trouble.
Hmmmm....I sound a little self-absorbed, though. Probably nobody will even read it and all my worry is for naught. Lol.
Anyway....just opened an account on Plurk. Tis' an odd site. I am DearDoe.
In other news, we are moving our little bookstore to downtown old town this weekend, not in a couple week. Ugh! I am sure that craziness will ensue. My boss is really great about humoring me and letting me and my co-worker have my way, but what if he changes his mind and wants the new store his way? His right, I know, but it sure would be sad for me. I love my little store where it is now with LaFeista next door (the guys are so nice they even painted the building for free), my view of the bay and boats, and my poor little stray kitties; Chuck-Chuck, Thea, Pearl and Donny. Oh, I can not forget Clive.
I am gonna stop bitchin' about that for now. I am sure that this move is a positive thing. (I keep trying to tell myself that!)

Oh Yeah!

Hey! I just realized the mere fact that I posted to my blog at all today was a first, ha!

Procrastination........maybe it's not so bad!

Wow, today is a day for procrastination and firsts. Not that procrastination is a first for me, no not me. I should be getting ready for my mother and grandmother to visit.....what am I doing? I am putting pictures on my flickr account so I can post them to my ravelry account (I had to post the delightful square that Darra sent me for the "Sexy Ladies Afghan Square Swap" group on Ravelry, didn't I. Of course I did!). I figured out how to post my playlist and my meez to both my blog and my ravelry page (both firsts) and I am trying to write my first pattern for a 12x12 inch square for Fibernymph, also a first, for the before mentioned group. What I should be doing is cleaning off my front porch, putting the huge stacks of books in the dining room away, pulling weeds, doing a thorough housecleaning, do the laundry.......or maybe I should take a walk, sniff a flower, knit, read a book, dance around the living room or stare at the clouds. Damn I hate the practical side of life!!!!!

WoooHooo! From Sexy Lady Darra! July 2008

WoooHooo! From Sexy Lady Darra! July 2008
Originally uploaded by Kimberly or KimmeyKay or ~Doe~, Whatever...

I love it!

More to come....stay tuned!

Well, this is exciting...A place to write a diary of sorts where everybody can see.....hmmmm.....maybe that is not such a good idea! I have to go for now but I will definitely be back soon!